Happy New Year!

Well, it has been two days short of six weeks...and a lot has happened.

First of all, on New Year's Eve I watched as a pregnancy test turned positive!  By my calculations, our fourth child will be born around Labor Day.  I haven't told my parents yet -- I want to have my first official prenatal appointment and see how thing are going (and make sure I am expecting one child and not twins!), and I want to try to get a little bit organized, because I don't know how my parents will react.  Also, my sister is trying for her first, and I know it will be hard for her -- plus she will think that we are crazy.

It will be challenging.  Financially, spacewise, with family dynamics...with my developing a career or at least a resume as a performer...with Dave and I actually getting to spend time together as a couple...BUT, I would rather live in a world where I am open to possibility and can embrace what life offers.  A new human being is growing inside of me.  Audrey will be a big sister, Larry a double big brother,  Ia a triple big sister.  We will have to get really organized, with time and space, and we will have to really treat each other with love and appreciate each other.  We need to treasure each other and our relationships.

I do feel that I will know that our family is complete.  It does feel complete now, but I have felt the longing for another baby.

The power is fading on the computer, so while there is time, I also want to say...

I directed an opera!  "Amahl and the Night Visitors," conducted by Rachel Day Kessler, my junior high school music teacher.  Ia got to sing in the chorus.

And I have vocal nodes, and have to have vocal rest through January 28th, about 20 days.

It will be challenging to be on vocal rest, especially with the kids -- and with not being able to talk on the phone with friends.

I am excited that I am pregnant.  And this is the first time that I am partially keeping the news to myself for a while.  I am over 40 now (conceived when I was 40, will deliver when I am 41).

And I am nervous.  I know that there are more chances for issues...

---The power went off at that point last night.

So, yes, there are more chances for issues, and with or without special needs, the balance in the family will be different, forever.

But...a new life.  That will change and shape all of our lives and make us grow and experience new things.

Time to be open and embrace the journey.